Meet this mid-as-heck white belt. Won panpacs last November (white medium-heavy) via ex machina. Private lessons are $29/hr for white belts. Beat me up for $24/hr if you're higher belt.

Details

IF YOU ARE A WHITE BELT: $29/hr
Here's the deal.
• I'll teach you literally all the sh**ty jiu jitsu I know as fast as possible. Especially what worked at panpacs.
• MAYBE you'll come third (even second) at your local BJJ comp. Probably not though.
• TINY chance that you'll win panpacs this year if you copy EXACTLY what I did. Hint: I ankle locked everyone like a dirty little white belt. The powerlifting also probably helped I won't lie


BLUE/PURPLE/BROWN/BLACK BELTS: $24/hour to beat me up. 8hr sessions maximum.
For training or entertainment purposes only.

• Beat me up in front of your mates. In front of your coach. Your students. Your gym crush. Your ex. Lift your ego by crushing mine.
• I won’t willingly allow you to tap me but I certainly won't be able to stop you. Don’t bring a second man.
• ON A SERIOUS NOTE: I’m not spazzy unless you ask me to be. I like to flow roll. But I’ll roll hard if that’s what you need.


GYMS: $29/hr. I’ll hang out, emotionally regulate your trial members and teach your 1-2 stripe white belts how to heel hook each other in the gi.
• I’ll be the rest round you never knew you needed.
• Upon request, I’ll also attempt to ankle lock your local gym bully if you tire them beforehand. This will cost you a dollar for every successful tap. Negotiations available.
• Don’t worry, I don’t actually know how to do heel hooks



Lachie please accept my friend request on Facebook it’s been six months